Bedtime Goals and Dreams

First day of school pictures

 

 It seemed like summer zipped by this year and all of a sudden it was time to go back to school!  This year I have 3 boys that are at the Middle High School (it's combined) and only two left at the Elementary School.

 

 

I now have 3 different start times again.  Connor and TJ leave for seminary (a 6am scripture study class for high school students that meets at our church before school), Coleman by 6th grader leaves at 6:45am and then my little boys Bridger and Cannon leave at 8:15am.

That is 3 breakfasts, 3 family prayers and 3 (hopefully loving) send offs a morning.

Not to mention packing 5 lunches a day!

So as you can see, I really need to bring my A game every morning and be on my toes!

 

With such an early start time and such busy mornings--I have found that we all need a good nights sleep--which brings me to a serious predicament.

 

Most nights my boys seem to fight sleep and do anything in their power to avoid their beds and starting around 8:45 I begin to feel frustrated....and turn into a nagging cranky tired Momma.

So I have set a new goal for myself to not rush bedtime anymore, to be FIRM, but remain happy and loving. 

 

 

  I know that bedtime can be a special bonding opportunity where kids open up and talk about things that are on their minds.. A time when they are ready to talk and to listen.  When things can sink deep in their hearts  Something about a cozy bed, the presence of a loving parent and dimmed lights--is magical.  I know this and I want it--but man it is going to take some serious effort on my part. 

 

The only time I have successful bedtimes with my boys like that is when I start early (or I don't care how late it is--which late nights is not an option during the school year if I want happy mornings:)...so I am recommitting to having my dinners planned so I am not stressed and scrambling. This will set the stage, I hope:)  Then I will have plenty of time for the whole evening routine of checking homework, family scriptures, PJs, teeth brushing, reading etc EARLY--so we can feel relaxed and not rushed when it is finally time to get the boys tucked into bed.  And that is just the little ones.

 I have found that my teenagers need time to decompress before I rush them off to bed too.  Why is it that around the time they should be headed to their rooms for the night, they  become chatty and so fun to be around?!   I am realizing that this is a precious time that I don't want to miss.  Hopefully starting early will allow me to enjoy them and not feel annoyed that it is too late. 

Wish me luck!

 

If only I could work this bedtime magic like Mary Poppins--remember this?!  he he--I love it!
 

Here is to happy bedtimes for all!

What are your secrets to bedtime success??

 

Thank You Notes

 

  I love to share great little quotes with my boys and one of my favorites from James E Faust is:

"A grateful heart is a beginning for greatness. It is an expression of humility. It is a foundation for the development of such virtues as prayer, faith courage, contentment, happiness, love, and well-being." 

 I want my boys to have all the blessing of a grateful heart and so I am doing my best to instill in them the habit of being thankful.  Not only an attitude of thankfulness but putting the sentiments into action with pen and paper.  We have talked about how much we LOVE to get a little note in the mail, to hold something in your hands and knowing the time and effort it took is endearing and makes you feel loved.   It is thoughtful and kind and who doesn't want those attributes for their children?

 

 

So my boys know that in our family thank you notes are a must, no if and or buts.  I remind them often and make sure it happens! 

I do try to make it fun though.  After Christmas we had a little thank you note writing "party".  I had a few different thank you notes to choose from (some that were not "too girly").  And I rounded up some little treats, just to sweeten the deal--yum!

I am trying to do these little "parties" every couple of weeks.  There are always people to thank.   Just like most things, I know I have to be consistent or it won't stick!  

What do you do to get your children to write thank you notes?  I would love to hear your ideas! 

 

xoxoxo

Melanie

 

A Walk with Anne

 

I decided to walk my 3 not so little boys to school this morning and then go on a morning walk. When we got to the end of the little tree lined walking path in our neighborhood, right before we set foot on school property my 11 year old Coleman tried to tell me good bye! He was very sweet about it, but I could tell he didn't want to be seen with his Mom walking him to school. Then I turned to Bridger who obviously agreed, giving me a quick little hug with a shy smile.  When I asked Cannon  if he wanted me to walk him to the school, he said "you can if I want to, I don't care."   Which I knew really meant that he didn't want to hurt my feelings but would rather be old and cool like his big brothers...ha ha! Even my baby is growing up!  

They were all so kind about it...but I was excused! So I wished them each a happy day and turned back for a brisk morning walk by myself.  No more clinging little ones.  It is bittersweet for sure, but I am trying to enjoy the freedom these days provide and not dwell on the fact that my boys are growing up too fast!   It was a chilly, but beautiful morning here in Tennessee, everything was covered in frost, but the sun was shining bright!  It felt so good!

 

I listened to Anne Of Green Gables on my phone and it was DELIGHTFUL!   I found myself grinning from ear to ear my whole walk--I am sure I looked kind of silly!  It was so fun to listen to that darling Anne Shirley! And  the thought did occur to me that I could not have done this years ago as I was always pushing a stroller and trying to keep a little person riding a bike upright, listening to lots of chatter and answering gazillions of questions.  I really do miss those days, but I remind myself that they were exhausting!  I am finding that each season of our lives are full of different blessings to be enjoyed.  I guess the key is to focus on the current joy and not what is hard or lacking. 

Anyway, this is the free app that I used and I highly recommend it.  Just type in Audiobooks and this one by Cross Forward will come up:

All the books on this app are free to listen to and there is a surprisingly large collection to pick from! I am so glad I found it!  After Anne Of Green Gables I will start Pride and Prejudice. 

In other news...I have new little niece...Ririe Malinda

 

 Isn't she so sweet?! My Mom sent me this picture and it made me homesick! How I miss my Mom and my family and I hate being so far away when my sisters have their babies. It breaks my heart a little. Good thing we have the technology to send lots of pictures and talk whenever we want!

 

 Well I am off to do my housework and a little baking.  I am trying very hard to stick to my own simple "work chart"--I will post on that soon!

Hope you have a wonderful Thursday!

xoxo

Melanie

 

A Job Chart System that Works!

A New Year called for updating my job charts!

I want my boys to grow up to be hard working, contributing type people and I know that starts at home.  I am finding that it takes a lot of work and patience to train children...but I am already seeing the reward!  It is so nice to have my boys help without complaint and to feel like I am not the only one working around here!

 

 I have found that the keys to success when it comes to getting children to work at home is to have CLEAR EXPECTATIONS and be CONSISTENT. 

When my boys have work "sprung on" them, that they were not expecting their attitudes are not the best. It is no fun for Mom, so I have created job charts and they can see exactly what is expected. 

 

The only day that is not clearly outlined is Saturday.  On that day the charts says to plan on 1 hour of work from Mom and Dad.  Every Saturday I have a little list of jobs they must accomplish before hanging out with friends or turning on any electronics.  The one that never changes is super cleaning their rooms (dust, vacuum, closet, drawers) but the other jobs just depend on what needs to be done. 

 

I have hung these on a magnet board in our sunroom which is off the kitchen, a place where we are the most:)

 

 

We have a rule that the boys are free to come home and get a snack and relax after school, but the jobs need to be done BEFORE electronics or play each day.  This is something that I have to enforce or the jobs would never get done.  Also, if they leave for school and don't make their beds then they owe me an extra job when they get home.  I try very hard to NOT get mad, but hold them to it!

I can happily say that consistency has paid off and there are rarely any problems with this anymore.

*as a side note under Everyday (see below) I don't force them to say their prayers,  that is just a little reminder:)

Also we do our 30 min reading before bed and homework after school or while I make dinner.

 

I have cut and pasted 3 documents for a closer look at the system:

 

#1 This is one of the individual little charts pictured above for a closer look:

Coleman Keith

Everyday: personal prayer, scriptures, make bed, tidy room, empty laundry basket, read 30min, homework.

 

Mon- Media Room

Tues- Family Room

Wed- Dishes-unload/reload

Thu- Sweep kitchen/Laundry

Fri- Bathrooms shine

Sat- 1 hour of work

Sun- Journal, Duty to God, Weekly Goals, Letters

 

#2  I printed this off and hang it above their job charts so they can clearly see a description of what is expected for each job.

 

Job Descriptions

Media Room (FOR THE DAY)

 Media Room: put away anything out, including DVDs & Wii stuff, pick up trash, vacuum if needed. 

Family Room (FOR THE DAY)

Family Room: put away anything out, including toys & trash, keep pillows on couch, vacuum if needed. 

Bathrooms (FOR THE DAY):  

All 3 Bathrooms (not master): Shine mirror, wipe out sink & countertop, wipe down toilet (including under lid), pick up towels, check toilet paper and soap dispensers and overall tidy up.

Sweep kitchen/ Laundry:

Sweep kitchen and main hard floors (including hall, sunroom, outside of family room, entry), help with one batch of laundry*-fold

Dishes(FOR THE DAY)

Unload and reload dishes as needed, especially after meals. 

 

Saturday:

See Mom and Dad for a list of jobs—plan on about an hour of work

 

 

 

#3 I hung this little graph on the side of the fridge so I can easily check and see who has what everyday.   I have found that I really need to follow up on their daily jobs and remind them that we work before play:)

 

	Connor	TJ	Coleman	Bridger	Cannon
Monday	Bathrooms	Dishes	Media Room	Sweep/ Laundry	Family Room
Tuesday	Dishes	Media room	Family Room	Bathrooms	Sweep/ Laundry
Wednesday	Sweep/ Laundry	Bathroom	Dishes	Family Room	Media Room
Thursday	Media room	Family Room	Sweep/ Laundry	Dishes	Bathroom
Friday	Family room	Sweep/ Laundry	Bathrooms	Media Room	Dishes

 

There you have it!  A tried and true work chart system that works!

Next up:  A daily work chart for myself!  

Where my Heart Is

 Last week,  was such a blessing  to soak in lots of sun, enjoy beautiful beaches and most of all to rest--which I needed after the last few months!  I felt exhausted from the heart problems, tummy troubles, multiple Celiac diagnosis es, fevers, ear infections, breathing problems, horrible colds, heart surgeries and although I didn't blog about it all, the list seemed to go on and on lately...!  It has been rough at our house!

So, I did simply LOVE ...

the long walks on the beach, listening to this powerful inspiration (seriously good for my soul)...

 staying in a beautiful resort  (so grateful that Brad's company does these wonderful trips and we get to go)

  and especially all the one on one time with my sweet husband (that rarely happens)!

Although, I truly did enjoy the days spent in this beautiful place... 

by the end of the week, 

my heart was longing to be here...

Call me crazy, but home really is my favorite place on Earth!

There is no where I would rather be (well, most of the time--ha ha) than surrounded with these boys of mine!

They have my heart, that's for sure!

It was so fun to see all 5 of them out playing a game of front yard baseball after church Sunday.

Everyone  healthy, happy and rambunctious...Life is good!

Happy Monday!

By the way--we saw the BEST movie this last weekend --I can't wait to tell you about it tomorrow!

xo

Tummy Troubles

After our appointment with a GI specialist yesterday we stopped at Panera Bread for a lunch with my boy.  He wanted a cinnamon crunch bagel and I suggested chicken soup (just posted about the health benefits of chicken stock here)--and no he did not have those chips (that just came with the lunch and we saved them for his brothers who aren't suffering with heartburn).

First of all, thank you so much for the comments and emails with suggestions for my hurting boy.  Many of you thought it sounded like Celiac Disease, which the Dr did draw blood to test for, but after a long interview meeting and exam he felt Coleman has IBS (irritable bowl syndrome)  The Dr explained that it seems he fits the profile and the timing.  It was telling that all his trouble started right after Bridger got our of the ICU a few months back.  I felt like we handled it well and were not overly stressed as a family, but the Dr says it is still a very stressful situation anytime you have a loved one in the ICU. Coleman is a very sensitive soul and the anxiety and worry exhibited itself in his abdominal troubles.   Then it became a vicious cycle, of pain and then the worry about the pain, making more pain etc.  Poor guy.  The medicine the pediatrician had prescribed just wasn't strong enough to heal the problem. We now have the right medicines that should help and I know having a diagnosis will cut down the worry (for him and me).    We are also going to work on managing our worry and or stress before it gets the best of us.  I am excited to have my sweet happy go lucky boy back soon!

( another little lunch date prior to all the tummy trouble)

I was also so happy to be reminded of essential oils by a very sweet person who emailed me after reading my request for help.  Her little boy had struggled with similar tummy troubles and she wrote how all the tests done at the pediatricians office were inconclusive too.  She said that using this oil and this one helped him considerably. I was reminded of my dear friend Karen, the most lovely neighbor I had for a few years.  She used essential oils with great success.  I figure it was worth a try and the one-on-one nurturing time of rubbing them and talking together each night will be great medicine, don't you think? 

I believe that the effects of love and nurturing are powerful and I am so happy that as a Mother I have so many opportunities to do just that!

Have a wonderful weekend!

Just a little request...

My latest instagram  (follow @ melandboys)...deciphering a clue for a treasure hunt for Family Home Evening.

Thanks to Grammy for the kit and to Connor for setting it up.

Such a fun time.

Ok now for my request... calling all Dr Moms out there...

My 10 year old has had abdominal pain since December, no joke. He has lost about 5 pounds since then, which is just not good for a growing boy!  He is definitely suffering from some sort of indigestion, gas, and heart burn,,,,but why?!   I have taken him to the Dr lots of times.  We have done an xray, ultrasound, blood work and can find no answers.  Everything came back fine except the xray done at a walk in clinic showed gas.  That is when I took him into our pediatrician.  

He is currently taking Prevacid and a probiotic for the last 2 weeks with not much relief.  He will seem somewhat better one day, but worse the next.  It never goes away though. So strange, huh?!  

I am currently trying to get in to see a GI specialists, but in the mean time I am looking for answers myself.

He is miserable today and it makes me sad:(

Has anyone out there had a child go through something like this?  Could it be a food allergy?

I have been limiting foods that are obviously bad for heartburn, but it really is challenging to monitor a 10 years olds eating, you know?!

Any ideas for me?

Thank you my dears!!

Preparation for a Good Morning

Recently my mornings have been looking like this...

Yikes, I am sure your house never looks like that right?!

Our mornings have been super crazy lately and by the time the boys leave the house it looks like a bomb went off.!  I decided things needed to change or this Mother may go insane!

Coleman is such a good example in this area.  Every night when I tuck him in, I have to be careful not to trip on this "boy" on the floor.

He carefully lays out everything he needs for school and sometimes there is even a little list of very important reminders for himself. when he wakes up:

( White bread?!  LOL  I don't normally have white bread in the house.  I guess he wanted to make sure that he got that little treat in his lunch the next day! )

My Goals for a better morning...

the night before:

*Put my house to bed--in other words make sure my house is in order.  It is so much better to start the day with a clean slate

*Plan breakfasts and post them with my dinners on our family command center.  I have run into the trouble of asking the boys what they want and I get 3-5 different responses!  Then my kitchen is destroyed and I am nutty trying to fulfill all those different requests:)  What was I thinking, silly Mom!

*Start the process of the 5 lunches before I hit the sack.  

*Lay out my clothes for the next day and help the little boys do the same

*Look over my day and calendar.  They maybe I won't have as many surprises thrown at me as we are trying to get out the door--"I need a field trip check  or Where is my library book" etc

Wish me I luck, I need it:)

What do you do to help your mornings run better?  Do you have any brilliant ideas that work in your home?

If so, please share!!

Losing Battle?

 

I think I may be a bit old fashioned, but I really don't like to see my children constantly on electronic devices.  I started weekly library visits to try and foster a love for reading and look what happens...they ignore the books and make a bee line for the computers!  AUGH!

 

I know that technology is a blessing and I do embrace it--I am a blogger for heavens sake, but  I just can't help the fact that I really want my little boys to want to spend the majority of their time off electronics.  Running around outside, playing games together, putting together puzzles, being creative with their legos or super hero action figures, coloring pictures...you know what I mean or do I just sound crazy?

 

First off, I have tried to set a good example.  I try to return emails or write posts when they are in bed or at school. I hope that helps a little, but so far they still prefer screen time more than anything else!

 

How do you control electronics with your kids?

I need some advice, please!

 

Small Things

Source: thecreativepaige.com via Melanie on Pinterest

This weekend I read a talk that a friend shared with me titled " Raising Self-reliant and Respectful Children" by Daryl Hoole.  It was given at the BYU School of Family Life Distinguished Lectures Series.  I was impressed and inspired with all of this speech, but a few points really hit home and got me thinking.

 I loved this explanation of respect:

"Respect is honor and esteem.  Being respectful is to do and say the nicest thing in the nicest way."

It is so easy  to slip into a negative tone with my children when they are not listening or obeying like I think they should. Children are people and deserve respect all the time too.  I am going to do better at being firm, but still nice and respectful at times like that.

I also loved this part: 

 A busy husband promised his wife "to give you my best and not that which is left over."

 I thought about that a lot. My family is number one for me, but do I give my husband and children my very best, not just whatever is left?  With 5 boys at home and a husband that is gone a lot with his job, I do get worn thin at times.  I know that is normal,  but I don't want to look back at this time in my life and have regrets.  I think that if loving my family and creating a happy, peaceful home is top on my list then maybe at this time in my life, items on my 'To Do' list need to be left undone.  Even good projects and tasks can take too much of my focus and energy--leaving me tired, stressed and worn out.  I realized that I need to be careful in how I plan my day and time, making sure I am giving the most time/energy to my family right now, you know?!  I can already see that this time is short when all my little chicks are in the nest and I don't want to waste a day of it being frazzled or "checked out".  

( I really don't think my boys would like to be referred to as "chicks"--ha ha!)

It brought to mind something else I had recently read--well actually listened to.  I have been listening to conference talks on my daily walks.  This was from 'Of Regrets and Resolutions" found here:

"Isn’t it true that we often get so busy? And, sad to say, we even wear our busyness as a badge of honor, as though being busy, by itself, was an accomplishment or sign of a superior life.

Is it?

I think of our Lord and Exemplar, Jesus Christ, and His short life among the people of Galilee and Jerusalem. I have tried to imagine Him bustling between meetings or multitasking to get a list of urgent things accomplished.

I can’t see it.

Instead I see the compassionate and caring Son of God purposefully living each day. When He interacted with those around Him, they felt important and loved. He knew the infinite value of the people He met. He blessed them, ministered to them. He lifted them up, healed them. He gave them the
 precious gift of His time."

If we fail to give our best personal self and undivided time to those who are truly important to us, one day we will regret it.

Let us resolve to cherish those we love by spending meaningful time with them, doing things together, and cultivating treasured memories.

These thoughts have left me feeling more committed to taking on less, focusing more on the individual, (especially those that are mine),  and simply living more purposefully.  I sometimes get overwhelmed with the big picture --- but really the key for me is making the time to consistently do small things with great love for the most important people in my life.

Heartfelt thoughts on an ordinary day

Scenes like this make me happy.  My boys all piled together laughing and goofing off is music to my ears!  They are loud and messy but my goodness, I am so glad they are mine!

Sometimes, my heart aches just thinking how quickly they are growing up and how short my time is to prepare them for life outside our nest:)

  Do they feel cherished and loved?  Am I reminding them of who they really are... the noble birthright they have as sons of God?  Have I taught them to trust the Lord with all their heart and depend on Him, especially when times are tough?  To find joy in serving others?  Have I instilled in them a determination to do what is right and have integrity?  

Do they understand the power of a grateful heart and that everyday they can choose happiness?

And the list goes on and on in my head...so much I want to teach them!

I pray that on these ordinary days I will remember how extraordinary this work of Mothering really is. 

Trying to remember...

Lately I seem to have an unending amount of this to do:

So I am trying really hard to remember these wise words:

I think I have posted this before, but I love that quote and had it running through my mind like a mantra yesterday! I do believe that is exactly what will happen someday when my home is no longer full of boys! (Sniff)

In the meantime I really need to frame this and hang it in my laundry room just to help my attitude about the huge amounts of stinky boy clothes I deal with on a daily basis!  

If you want to print this darling quote too--you can--for FREE!! 

 Click here !

Thank you Three Little Monkeys Studio!

A New Chapter

This has been a BIG week for us.  Cannon had his Kindergarten Checkup and shots--ouch!

Even though he talked tough--when the shots actually happened he couldn't help the tears for a few moments. I was impressed with how quickly he wiped them away and resumed his BIG boy attitude!   Even after all these years of vaccinating my boys, it still breaks my heart to watch them hurt.

He was a brave boy and we celebrated that courage with a lunch together at Chick-fil-a.

I am going to miss having this little man as my daily sidekick!

We read the Kissing Hand.

 a MUST read, in my opinion for EVERY Kindergartner.

It is the sweetest book--I love it.

Have you read it?

Cannon had his "phase in" day and he did great and LOVED it.

He is just bursting with pride and excitement about being in school.

He tells everyone--friends and random strangers that we run into the BIG NEWS!

After dropping him off at school, I walked home fighting back tears with a big lump in my throat, but a friend called and I happily chatted away the heartache. I thought I was fine and that this was going to be FUN to have the whole day to myself.  It wasn't until my Mom called that my emotions got the better of me.  I know I made the right decision but this is HARD!

For 15 years I have had little boys with me as (almost) constant companions.

This is the END OF AN ERA for me.

I no longer have babies on my hip and chubby little toddlers underfoot.

Trust me when I say, I KNOW I will enjoy this new phase of life, in fact I already have LOTS of fun plans and created lists of exciting projects to do.  It will be a great year

BUT today my heart hurts and I just can't help it.