Double Digits

 This darling boy turned 10 on Monday!  I still can hardly believe it?! 

He requested donuts instead of a cake and I was happy to do it:) 

Easiest birthday cake I have ever "made"!

 

Bridger McKay was my biggest baby--weighing in at almost 10 pounds!  He had the cutest roundest bald head!  This little butter ball was so  happy and cuddly we have all just adored him since day 1!

 

My heart kind of skips a beat when I look at this picture.  I love him so much and feel so incredibly thankful that Heavenly Father entrusted me with this little soul.

 

 

OK it is SO STRANGE to see only 4 boys here!  I really miss my Connor. He did send the birthday boy a card ---a pink glittery one:)  He thinks he is so funny!  Of course Bridger thought it was hilarious!!

 

 

A new BYU hat from Grammy and Papa!  Oh yeah!! 

He had a great birthday and was showered with gifts from all his brothers!

 

 

A favorite birthday tradition in our family--is that we go around the table and every gets a turn to say something they love and/or a memory about the birthday boy.  It is so fun--and usually once the ball gets rolling it is hard to stop! Pretty soon everyone is laughing and my tough boys are getting sentimental about their brother:)
 

Brad and I gave him a new big bike (with gears--so exciting!!) and his brothers helped him break it in after dinner!

 

And THANK YOU so much for the sweet emails and comments welcoming me back!!  I have the BEST blogging friends ever!!

xoxoxxo

 

PS I forgot to post my weekly menu--next week!!

Sweet Baptism Keepsake

 

Bridger was baptized on October 19th, his 8th birthday! 

He was so excited to be baptized that he wamted to do it as soon as possible!  (in our church you are not baptized until you are at least 8 years old).  He was not too excited about the above picture though--silly boy!

 

We were so happy to have my Mom come for this big event!

Grammy and Bridger right before the baptism.  We missed Papa who had to stay home due to hip surgery--poor guy!

It was a wonderful day!  He was baptized by his Dad, Coleman gave the opening prayer, and Connor (on Baptism) and TJ (on the gift of the Holy Ghost)  both gave outstanding talks that they wrote themselves.  I was so impressed!

After Bridger was baptized and we were waiting for him to change into his suit, I passed out little 4x6 cards and asked everyone there to write a little note to him on his special day. 

I had also asked all of our family living far away to email me a note that I could print and paste on a card.

Later I took all these sweet notes and punched a hole in the corner to tie together.

 

 I know these words of love and testimony will be a treasure for years to come!

 My friend Sheri did this for Coleman's baptism and I loved it! 
Such a a great idea!

A wonderful keepsake from his baptism day!

 

 

A Little Update on Bridger's heart

Bored at the Cardiologists yesterday...

1. Bridger: "Mom seriously why are you taking a picture?!" 2. My cute boy putting up with his silly Mom:)

3. He doesn't care anymore  4. Still waiting...

I had to to do something to keep from crying after the EKG and sonogram we had just finished with...I had such a lump in my throat:(

It was not good news, but probably a blessing in disguise.

 I had actually been looking forward to this check up.   I thought it was when they Dr would confirm my feeling that he was doing great and we would start weening him off the strong heart medication that he is currently taking every 8 hours around the clock. The nurse at school had accidentally been giving him his middle of the day dosage from an expired bottle of medicine.  So he had not been getting full strength from one of the dosages.  We had just realized this, and had mistakenly believed that it was a good sign that his heart was better;.

  I thought he was doing great on less--but I was wrong!!

Instead, when the technician hooked him up to the EKG machine instead of doing her usual quick test she let the machine run for what seemed like forever...that was my first red flag.  She was as sweet and playful with him as always, but so many pages of his heart beat were piling up, far more than usual!  Of course I knew she can't say anything to me, but I did wonder what was going on?

Then when we went into another room for the echo cardiogram.  We were laughing and chatting with that technician too--all these people just love Bridger and are so cute with him, which I am so thankful for.  Anyway, we were only into the ultrasound for a few minutes when she stopped and said, I am sorry but I have to go get the Doctor to see this.  My heart sunk...

It turns out his little heart was having problems again.  Lying down he was going up to 169 beats in waves.  I felt like I had been sucker punched!  Once again the cardiologists asked him if his heart felt funny--and he said no.  It was working so hard and HE CAN NOT FEEL IT!  Isn't that crazy?

I wish he could so he could let me know when things weren't right.

In the end she explained to me that he will need to have the surgery again at Vanderbilt.

In the mean time we will have to come back on Monday to be fitted for a a halter for 24 hour monitoring of his heart.  They need to know if the medicine is working right once it is back to full strength in his system or if they need to make changes.   

You know how the Doctors at Vanderbilt were not able to fix his heart last November--they just couldn't get 

his heart to go back into the SVT (crazy fast heart beat) even after all the medicine was out of his system.  Well, I was thinking... this is obviously a very elusive problem--hard to catch.

So even though it is such disappointing news, at least we were able to catch it--right there on record.  Our cardiologists here is forwarding all the test results and data we now have up to the specialist at Vanderbilt so he can study it and try to figure out how to fix his little heart.  The more I thought about it the more I am filled with gratitude that it happened in the office.   I know that was a blessing!

Who knows how long that could have been happening and would have gone on after.  There is the possibility that we would have never known until it was too late to reverse the damage or ended up in the hospital again.

Now at least we can take the next steps to fix the problem, hopefully once and for all.

So in the end, I can see that once again we were blessed.

I know that all the prayers on his behalf are being heard and he is being watched over.

Even though the news was sad, my heart is full.

Thank you again for all your sweet concern and prayers for my boy!

Mysterious Heart

 Well Friday morning we reported to the hospital bright and early as requested.  Bridger was far less nervous and anxious as he was the day before.  I was very proud of his great attitude.

 We patiently waited as they got him all checked in and prepped for surgery.  I thought it was pretty incredible that he said he wasn't scared anymore.  I had a feeling all those prayers were covering him with peace.  He honestly was good in spirits until the very last minute. When a team of 6 Doctors and nurses surrounded his bed and told him it was time to go his expression changed but he did not panic.  He said goodbye to us with a quivering lip and it about broke my heart.  His eyes were red and little tears were spilling out even though his face was stoic.  He didn't cry out or complain at all.  We hugged and kissed him telling him we would see him soon and he bravely nodded his head.  That was hard!

 During the LONG procedure they give you updates by calling you on a special phone in a designated OR waiting room.  We had several updates during the 5 hour surgery, but they were having a hard time keeping him in the arrhythmia long enough to map it.  We were told that without a good map (30-60 points) they can not accurately find the source of the problem, to know where to ablate (or destroy).  With Bridger they could only find 4 points.  That was a pretty crude map and they kept pumping his little body with all kinds of things to try and keep him in it.  Adrenaline, caffeine, diuretics etc.  In the end the Dr who is world renowned in this field was very frustrated/disappointed with how it went..  He said he is rarely ever surprised and Bridger shocked him.  From all the gathered data from the time in the ER and PICU and the tests since---this was a well documented case of PJRT, but when they went in to fix it....it behaved totally differently.  He did not have a good explanation for what was going on.  

SO basically Bridger's little heart has stumped the Doctors!

 Out of surgery--so happy to see this little man!

 Feeling good enough to play games on the IPAD:)

We were told that he would need to remain on the cardiac medicine until his heart functioning was back to normal.  They want to keep me checking his heart 3-4 times a day, but he can go back to normal activity.  We will go in for tests periodically and wear a 24 heart monitor a few times to try and study his heart during regular everyday life.  He ruled out that it was just a virus that caused the extremely hard to control SVT .  They know his heart was having more issues than just the few days in the hospital because the functioning is still not back up showing more damage was done than could have happened in those 48 hours. 

 At first I was so upset.  I really really wanted to have a resolution and be done with this chapter of our lives:)

But that is not going to be the case, darn it!  I do have a HUGE sense of peace. I KNOW that he has been watched over.  That all of the prayers (thank you so much) and beautiful priesthood blessings have been honored. I am sure he has been blessed, more than we realize.  We can be patient while we figure this out.  I believe that everything happens for a reason and I will trust in our loving Heavenly Father even though I don't understand.

At least I know that they were wrong--he is NOT permanently in SVT for sure.  His little heart may have some issues but there is now a very real possibility that he could heal and outgrow it completely.  We hope that is the case, but if not, it is still very comforting that he has a team of Drs working to figure it out.  He gets to go back to almost normal activity and I am not going to let myself worry.  It is quite mind boggling that he had instruments go into his heart through veins/arteries in his neck and both legs just yesterday and yet today he is up and around.  Some soreness and small bandages is all he has to show for the ordeal!   Crazy.  Modern medicine is truly a wonder!

He was excited to get to go home today--just in time to watch the big SEC Championship game with his brothers who he missed so much!  I can't tell you how many times he told us that he wished his brothers were there with him! Life is better with brothers around in his opinion:) 

Once again THANK YOU for caring about us during this stressful time.  We love you all so much.  Your prayers and loving concern were a HUGE blessing to our family!

Now hopefully we are done with drama--and I can go back to posting about boring but happy day to day life!  

Today and Again Tomorrow...darn it!

**First of all THANK from the bottom of my heart for all sweet messages and especially for your prayers!  That means so much!  I sure love you all!

We reported to Vanderbilt Children's Hospital in Nashville this morning to have the famous Dr Frank Fish work his magic on my little man's heart. 

Bridger woke up a little teary eyed and anxious, poor sweetheart. We reminded him that he had received several beautiful priesthood blessings and had so many people praying for him.  We also talked about the Lord's love and care for him and putting our trust in Him, the master physician. He was able to over come his nerves and was so brave!! I was so proud of him.

After hours of tests, long conversations with Drs, lots of paperwork and a little Ipad fun...

We found out that there had been a HUGE error.  No one from their office had told me to quit Bridger's medicine 48 hours before the surgery.  The person that was in charge of letting me know, had a family emergency and we somehow fell through the cracks.  So yesterday morning, a nurse called me from the office to change the time from 7am to 8 am--during the conversation I asked about the meds.  She was shocked that he was still taking them.  I was told to stop them immediately. 

I was so nervous to stop them.  I felt like I could hardly sleep last night. I was told that if his heart went back into the SVT for longer than 20 minutes to bring him into the ER and they would just admit him. It was a little nerve racking for me, but I didn't need to worry.

I think all those prayers were working extra well:). 

They could not get his heart to go back into it the SVT.  The really needed the problem to come back at the hospital so they have a better chance of being able to fix it during the surgery.

They finally even had him running on a treadmill in the exercise lab...

 Which felt so strange and ironic to me.  He was not to exert himself for the last 10 days so that he would not go back into the dangerous rhythms...and now we were trying our best to make it happen.   I had been so careful with giving him his medicine and keeping him resting that this felt very strange now.  I was thinking, geez, last night--I could have slept like a baby!  I had nothing to worry about!

They said his heart was beating irregular, but not going into the SVT rhythm.  It was strange for me to be wanting it to.  It all felt wrong...so opposite of all my prayers the last week or so!  Finally, it was determined that the meds were still too strong in his system and we would have to postpone the surgery.  We were so discouraged.  In the end the Dr and his staff went to great efforts to rearrange their schedule for tomorrow.  So although it is frustrating, we won't have to get back on the medicine and wait too long.  We will be back in the morning.

Bridger was super happy to get outta there and be able to eat.  He had to go in fasting --and we had been  there for hours.  He was thrilled to spend his day eating his favorite foods, christmas shopping in Target and spending lots of time with Mom and Dad:)

It was fun to see him so happy and spend the afternoon together. 

Now he is laying here next to me , with no signs of SVT.  I asked the DR if it could have just healed itself and maybe it won't come back at all.  He said no that is HIGHLY unlikely, but I can't help but dream:) So I guess, I will just hope that we won't have any problems tonight but in the norning it will start up in time for the procedure:)

And this will all be over soon!!  I am looking forward to that!

Heaven Sent

 My parents haven't been here in almost 2 years but they just happened to be scheduled to fly in on the very weekend Bridger was in the hospital.  I knew that the timing was not just a coincidence, but a beautiful blessing!  I can not even tell you what a comfort and help it was to have my Mom and Dad here when I was going through such a scare with our little Bridger.

I had big plans for their visit...fun Chattanooga area places to go, wonderful  restaurants to introduce them to, and historical sites to see, but things changed and instead they happily spent their time....

building pirate ships...

 and battlegrounds on the kitchen floor:)

Reading Magic Tree House...

 Playing Settlers and Rumikub...

and  lots of Battleship with Bridger,

backyard football ,

 finding educational activities online for our restless little 7 year old who was supposed to be taking it easy)

giving encouragement and love to their daughter (I needed it at times)

making crafts (brought in Grammy's suitcase)

 building Jenga towers

Cleaning up after us constantly (seriously my Mother is the best help ever--all my bathrooms are sparkling)

 even washing fingerprints off windows--all this service and love all week long!

 I really can not even describe how great of a blessing this was.  It made all the difference!

I am so grateful!

 We sure do love you Papa and Grammy and miss you like crazy now that you are gone!

 But we will cherish this week we spent together cozy at home:)

My Mom even insisted on helping me get out and put up most of my Christmas decorations.  I hope I can always be as unselfish and thoughtful as these two are!  And my goodness I hope they can come again soon so I can treat them to to all the Southern fun I had planned!

Heartsick

 Oh my do I ever have a story to tell...this may be a long post...

It all began on Wednesday morning when Bridger woke up looking tired and his throat was hoarse. I felt his head and it was not hot so we talked about if he should stay home from school or not.  I wanted to keep him with me but he has already missed 4 days this year for ear aches or not feeling well and I worried about keeping him home too much.  He said he thought he could go, so I sent him to school with some cough drops in a bag and a note for his teacher.  I told her he seemed tired and was losing his voice, that he may be getting sick.  Would she call me if he seemed worse and I would come and get him.  Well around 10 she called to say that he just didn't seem well.  He did not have a fever but she was worried about him.  She said she could tell that he was not feeling very good.  I AM SO THANKFUL for this sweet, caring teacher! Mrs Devaney was our first angel of the day. I love her:) 

 I brought him home and put him in some jammies and was about to set him up with blankets on the couch for a movie when I thought maybe he was a bit wheezy and when I hugged him I could feel his heart beating so hard.  I wasn't really worried but my first thought was croup and a fever was coming on (my kiids always have fast heart rates when fevering)--and knowing that it gets worse at night, I decided to take him to an instacare close to my house.  Once again I feel like we were watched over and protected. The PA (another angel) was so careful and thorough.  She noticed his heart seemed to be fast--and said "oh Mom he may not have a fever now, but I think it is coming on fast, his heart is really beating!"  She could have just sent us home with some medicine but she had her nurse get him some ibuprofen and checked his heart again after awhile. She ended up getting out the EKG machine --which is what is pictured above to test further.  All the while she is being so professional, I wasn't worried or stressed at all.  I honestly thought they must be really slow today and bored.  I took a picture to show him how cool it looked--to try and cheer him up.  When the PA working the machine could see the results from the EKG  she kind of freaked out. She said something about needles and being really sick and that she was calling an ambulance right now because he needed to be at the ER immediately . This made Bridger cry and I was kind of mad.
I still thought she is just over reacting and making his heart rate climb with saying that.  While we waited a few minutes for the ambulance he was on my lap and his heart seemed to be not as fast. I was thinking that this was a little silly to call an ambulance. As they loaded him in,  I took this little picture of my sweet boy so later he could show his brothers.  When the ambulance doors closed, I told the paramedics that I really wasn't sure this was necessary and that I thought the PA over reacted.  I explained how she had mentioned needles and how I was pretty sure that is what made his heart rate spike.  So they kindly listened to me while they hooked him up to the monitors and told me they would see what was going on. At first the numbers were normal --89...90 and then they just started climbing when his heart rate hit 248 they very calmly told me that yes they really did think it was a good idea to take him now.  I was still just feeling so confused and maybe that was good because I was able to stay calm for Bridger.

 They started an IV in the ambulance and soon we were at the ER at TC Thompsons Children's hospital in downtown Chattanooga.  I had learned on the ride over that his heartbeat should be around 80-100 beats a minute but his was climbing up over 220 (this is called SVT SupraventicularTachycardia)  He was going up as high as 268 and when the paramedic asked him if his heart hurt or felt funny when it was peaking, he would say no!!  This was a little disturbing that he couldn't feel it.  When we got to the ER I was starting to worry, but still not really aware of how dangerous this was.  I think it was a blessing from heaven that I was able to be calm which I am sure was important for Bridger to feel that his Mom was not too worried. I know how children really pick up on the emotions of their parents. 

 To make a long story short...after a few hours, many different doctors, chest xrays, echo cardiograms, EKGs, blood work, urine samples, endless questions and different drugs...we were eventually admitted to the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit.  His little heart was not just having an episode of SVT (fairly common) but would not kick out of it no matter what they did (very rare).  At this point they were just masking the problem with medication.

It was such a HUGE relief when Daddy got there.  He was at work over an hour away but came as quick as he could. ( By the time I took this picture he had been with us for hours)

Another EKG--what a trooper!

We spent a couple of LONG nights in the PICU.  I tell you , I really don't think I slept a wink.  With my sweet little boy hooked up to so many machines and all the beeping was truly a frightening place for a Momma.  I remember sitting there holding his little hand while he slept and my heart hurt so much I was sure it would break.

Another EKG~ I think he had a gazillion of these tests.  He was so brave, he kept wanting me to get a picture to show his brothers:)  I felt this sense of peace as I knew that he was in God's hands.  So many people were praying for him and he had received a priesthood blessing from his Daddy and our wonderful Bishop.  I really felt the spirit of God and His love for Bridger and me.  I knew He was aware of us and loved us. 

We soon found out that he had a dangerous heart condition called Persistent (permanent) Junctional Reciprocating Tachycardia (PJRT). .This is an unusual form of supra ventricular tachycardia (SVT) --in fact less than 1% of people with SVT have this form of the disorder.  While usually SVT  sufferers have episodes, Bridger's heart was now permanently in it.  Left untreated it would result in heart failure. It had  been a really frightening past few days. Even with the medication, his heart rate had been spiking to over 230 and then droping to 50-60 (It should be 80-100). They were trying to get it under control so that there would be no more damage to the heart and possibility of heart failure. I was told that once they stabilized the condition (control the arrhythmia) he would need a procedure called an ablation. This is when they would thread thin little wires up through a blood vessel in his groin and guide them into his heart. Then a machine sends energy to his heart via one of the catheters. The energy destroys small areas of heart tissue where abnormal heartbeats are causing an arrhythmia to begin. 

One great blessing is that the leading specialist in this area of cardiac medicine  (pediatric electrophysiology) in all of the U.S. is at Vanderbilt Hospital in Nashville (just a couple of hours away) so he had been consulting with Bridger's cardiologist and helped with the diagnosis and treatment. He will perform the surgery and our cardiologist kept telling us how lucky we are to have the BEST of the best doing this  procedure for Bridger.  I can't help but feel that Heavenly Father has been watching over this little guy. 

On Friday evening we were given the OK to leave the PICU for a regular room in the hospital. 

Bridger was so glad!  Happy day knowing there would be less cords and monitors attached now:)

He didn't get to lose the heart monitor though--in fact he had to carry that himself to his new room!  I think he may have had the worlds BEST nurses and Doctors in the PICU.  I felt like he was surrounded with such loving care.  I was so grateful.

In the regular room, his brothers were allowed to come for a visit and he was thrilled!  These brothers sure love this boy and had missed him like crazy!

After another night and more EKGs , echos and consultations with Drs he was allowed to go home until his surgery in about 10 days.  They trained me in how to check his heart rate and give him his medicine.  I am now nurse Mommy:)

We couldn't be happier to have our boy back home.  Brad and I brought his mattress down to our room where we can keep him close and easily give his middle of the night dosages.  He is feeling so good now that it is a little hard to keep him down.  ( I am not complaining) His cardiologists wants him to rest as much as possible and not go out in public where he could pick up an illness (no school or church etc).  They are hoping to improve his heart function before the procedure. 

I can not even describe my deep sense of gratitude for all the blessing and miracles I feel like we have experienced this last week.  Now I am content to watch over and care for my little one at home--trying to soak up and enjoy these quiet and slow days together.  I mean really, how often would I get all this one on one time to hang out with my usually busy 7 year old? He would normally spend his days off at school and playing outside, too busy to snuggle up reading books, playing games and chatting with his Mother.  That is definitely the silver lining in all of these dark clouds and I will take it:)